The Best American Humorous Short Stories PDF

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Stories

How much real comfort everyone might enjoy if he would be contented with the lot in which heaven has cast him, and how much trouble would be avoided if people would only “let well alone.”

Moderate independence quietly and honestly procured, is certainly in every way preferable even to immense possessions achieved by the wear and tear of mind and body so necessary to procure them.

Yet there are very few individuals, let them be doing ever so well in the world, who are not always straining every nerve to do better.

And this is one of the many causes why failures in business so frequently occur among us. The present generation seems unwilling to “realize” by slow and sure degrees.

But choose rather set their whole hopes upon a single cast, which either makes or mars them forever!

Gentle reader, do you remember Monsieur Poopoo? He used to keep a small toy store in Chatham, near the corner of Pearl Street.

You must recollect him, of course. He lived there for many years and was one of the most polite and accommodating shopkeepers.

When a juvenile, you have bought tops and marbles of him a thousand times.

To be sure you have, and seen his vinegar-visage lighted up with a smile as you flung him the coppers, and you have laughed at his little straight queue and his dimity breeches.

And all the other oddities that made up the everyday apparel of my little Frenchman. Ah, I perceive you recollect him now.

Well, then, there lived Monsieur Poopoo ever since he came from “dear, delightful Paris,” as he was wont to call the city of his nativity.

There he took in pennies for his kickshaws—there he laid aside five thousand dollars against a rainy day—there he was as happy as a lark—and there, in all human probability.

He would have been to this very day, a respected and substantial citizen, had he been willing to “let well alone.”

But Monsieur Poopoo had heard strange stories about the prodigious rise in real estate; and, having understood that most of his neighbors had become suddenly rich by speculating in lots.

He instantly grew dissatisfied with his own lot, forthwith determined to shut up shop, turn everything into cash, and set about making money in right-down earnest.

No sooner said than done; and our quondam storekeeper a few days afterward attended an extensive sale of real estate, at the Merchants’ Exchange.

There was the auctioneer, with his beautiful and inviting lithographic maps—all the lots as smooth and square and enticingly laid out as possible—and there were the speculators—and there, in the midst of them, stood Monsieur Poopoo.

“Here they are, gentlemen,” said he of the hammer, “the most valuable lots ever offered for sale. Give me a bid for them!”

“One hundred each,” said a bystander.

Author Edgar Allan
Language English
No. of Pages296
PDF Size13.6 MB
CategoryStory
Source/Creditsarchive.org

The Best American Humorous Short Stories Book PDF Free Download

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