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Rules Dating My Daughter List PDF Free Download
Rules Dating My Daughter
What all hormonal teenage males should commit to memory. Subject: Top 10 Rules for Dating My Daughter”.
Rule 1: You pull into my driveway and honk, you’d better be delivering a package because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule 2: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her as long as you do not peek at anything below her neck.
If you cannot keep your eyes and hands off my daughter’s body. I will remove them.
Rule 3: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.
I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule 4: It is usually understood that for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.
Please do not do this: The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house.
and the only word I need from you on this subject is… early.
Rule 5: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world. Promiscuity can kill you. Let me elaborate: If you are promiscuous with my daughter, I will kill you.
Rule 6: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule 7: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful… like changing the oil in my car?
Rule 8: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing. holding hands. or happiness.
Places, where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose-down parka, zipped up to her throat.
Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided: movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks’ homes are better.
Rule 9: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding. middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.
But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
I have a shotgun. a shovel. and five acres behind my house. Do not trifle with me. Rule 10: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Saigon.
When my reaction to Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit your car with your hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, and return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside.
| Author | – |
| Language | English |
| No. of Pages | 5 |
| PDF Size | 1 MB |
| Category | Literature |
| Source/Credits | dl.icdst.org |
Rules Dating My Daughter List PDF Free Download