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The Ballad Of Sexual Dependency By Nan Goldin
It’s thirty-five years later and the twenty-first printing of The Ballad of Sexual Dependency.
I love this book, it’s why I’m here now. It amazes me that it still resonates in the world. I’ve lived many lives since then. That was perhaps the lifetime that formed me the most, the years of the Ballad.
I still believe these photos tell the truth about that time. It’s important, for me, to recontextualize the afterword every ten years. The foreword is forever, that’s the real narrative of this work.
Just like I constantly re-edit my slideshows, I want to continue updating the record of my life.
I grew up in a period in which the glue of suburbia was denial. It maintained the culture, the mentality, and the outer face. I didn’t accept the myths that families tell themselves and present to the world.
I saw very early that my experience could be negated. That I never said that, I never did that, that never happened. I needed to get away.
I took the pictures in this book so that nostalgia could never color my past.
I wanted to make a record of my life that nobody could revise: not a safe, clean version, but instead, an account of what things really looked like and felt like and smelled like. I don’t think I could, at this age and in this body now, live the life that I lived then. It took a certain level of fearlessness, a wildness, quick changes—of clothes, of friends, of lovers, of cities.
When I wonder what people are talking about when they say that the Ballad helped them, I guess that it showed young people there was another way to live, that they didn’t have to swallow the version of the norm that hurt them, that they didn’t feel part of, that was destroying them.
The book gave a mirror to kids who had no reflection of themselves in the world around them. They knew that they weren’t alone.
In the old days, people told me they moved to New York because of the Ballad. They were introduced to other great artists, other great personalities, and a whole other world of brilliance and beauty.
They found a world where friends could replace family, where the people who kept you alive were the ones you chose. Relationships weren’t based on toxic expectations of who you were.
ou was free to be anyone you wanted. Somebody told me recently my work averted their suicide. If I can help one person survive, that’s the ultimate purpose of my work.
My thoughts about relationships and interdependency have changed over the decades. I still make no emotional distinction between my friends and my lovers.
But I don’t want the same kind of stranglehold intimacy that I needed in the past. I don’t need somebody else to prove I exist. There’s no Nan Goldin in my house, there’s only Nan.
Photography has been redemptive for me, it’s helped me chart my descents and my reconstruction. For many years, I didn’t pick up a camera except to photograph the sky.
I lost the need to photograph my life or the people in it.
My photos were no longer my diary, my paintings were. Then during the COVID-19 quarantine, I started photographing a new friend for the first time in years. I wanted to show my friend her beauty.
It’s fascinating to see how much a face can change over a year when you look at someone deeply enough and how the degree of intimacy colors a photo.
When I was a kid I thought, What a waste if I don’t leave a mark on the world. Through the Ballad I found a way to make a mark.
| Author | – |
| Language | English |
| No. of Pages | 7 |
| PDF Size | 1 MB |
| Category | General |
| Source/Credits | pdfseva.com |
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The Ballad of Sexual Dependency PDF Free Download