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Swami Vivekananda On Himself
The present writer is an insignificant servant of Sri Ramakrishna. I am not ashamed of my race, or my birth or nationality.
I am proud of my race, proud of my ancestors, I am proud to call myself a Hindu. It has been one of the principles of my life not to be ashamed of my own ancestors.
I am one of the proudest men ever born, but let me tell you frankly, it is not for myself, but on account of my ancestry.
The more I have studied the past, the more I have looked back, more and more has this pride come to me and it has given me the strength and courage of conviction.
Raised me up from the dust of the earth, and set me working out the great plan laid out by those great ancestors of ours.
My father and mother fasted and prayed for years. and years, so that I would be born.
I have such a memory of when I was only two years old. I used to play with my syce, at being a Dairagi, clothed in ashes and Kaupina.
And if a Sadhu came to beg, they would lock me in upstairs to prevent my giving too much away. I felt that for some mischief, I had had to be sent away from Siva.
No doubt my family increased this feeling, for when I was naughty they would say “Dear. dear, so many austerities, yet Siva sent us this demon after all.
Instead of a good soul!” Or when I was very rebellious, they would empty a can of water over me, saying Siva! Sival and then I was all right. Always, even now, when I feel mischievous, those words keep me straight.
The teacher repeated twice or thrice the spelling, pronunciation, meaning etc. of the words of these portions of the books, as if he was himself learning his own lesson and went away. That was sufficient for me to learn them.
Even while I was a student at Calcutta, I was of a religious temperament. I was critical even at that time of my life, mere words would not satisfy me.
I used to see all my life a wonderful point of light between my eyebrows as soon as I would shut my eyes in order to go to sleep, and observe attentively its various changes.
In order that it might be convenient to see it, I used to lie on my bed in the way people bow down touching the ground with their foreheads.
That extra¬ ordinary point used to change its colours, and increasing in size, become gradually converted into the form of a ball, and bursting at last, cover my body from head to foot with white liquid light.
As soon as that happened, I lost external conciousness and fell asleep.
I believed that all people went to sleep that way. I was long under that impression.
When I grew up and began to practice meditation, that point of light used to come before me, first of all, as soon as I closed my eyes, and I concentrated my mind on it.
In those days I daily practised meditation with a few friends according to the instruction of Maharshi Devendranath.
We talked among ourselves about the nature of visions and experiences each of us had.
From my very boyhood I was a dare-devil sort of fellow. Otherwise do you think I could make a tour round the world without a single copper in my pocket?
While at school, one night I was meditating within tlosed doors and had a fairly deep concentration of mind. How long I meditated in that way, I cannot say.
It was over, and I still kept my seat, when from the southern wall of our room a luminous figure stepped out and stood in front of me.
There was a wonderful radi¬ ance on its visage, yet there seemed to be no play of emotion on it.
It was the figure of a sanyasin absolutely calm, shaven headed, and staff and kamandalu (a sanyasin’s wooden water-bowl) in hand.
He gazed at me for some time, and seemed as if he would address me.
I too gazed at him in speechless wonder. Then a kind of fright seized me.
I opened the door and hurried out of the room. Then it struck me that it was foolish of me to run away like that, and that perhaps he might say something to me.
| Author | Swami Vivekananda |
| Language | English |
| Pages | 354 |
| PDF Size | 17.4 MB |
| Category | Biography |
Swami Vivekananda On Himself PDF Free Download